This political season was even more debated and heated than in past years and you will need ways to manage family conversations about it. This blogpost will not examine the reasoning why the election was so contentious. This is a special request blogpost because many of us are going to be around family members this upcoming week. We will sit down with our significant others, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles and extended family and Hillary and Donald will inevitably come up. It might lead into a debate about abortion, testing welfare recipients, common core, illegal immigration or any of the topics often associated with politics. The turkey is just being served and now you’re stuck and wondering “What do I do now?”. Outlined below are some of your options for managing your involvement in political discussions.
1. Let them know loud and clear that you won’t be swayed
If you are a Diehard Reagan Republican and will never vote for a Democrat, let your family know that no amount of arguing, fact sharing or article reposting will convince you otherwise. If you are not interested in hearing another’s perspective, share that with your family. It’s better to stand in your power and to be honest, then to listen and become resentful.
2. Let them know you don’t want to talk about politics
You have the option of setting a firm boundary before dinner even starts that politics are not a topic for the Thanksgiving dinner table. If it’s your house, ask guests to refrain from having political discussions. If you are at someone else’s house, talk to the host about your thoughts. You are allowed to say no to others wanting to talk about something you don’t want to talk about.
3. Tell them you are willing to talk politics for a certain length of time
Let your family members know you are willing to share your views and listen to their views for ten minutes and then you are going to talk about something more neutral. A lot of times, people want to connect and talking about politics is a way to connect. Offer other safe but exciting topics to talk about.
4. Tell them you are willing to talk about certain topics but not others
If you are not comfortable sharing your views on abortion, let your family members know that you are not willing to discuss abortion or funding for Planned Parenthood. Let them know you are willing to talk about options for education instead of common core but stand steadfast in your unwillingness to discuss whatever topic you decide.
5. Leave the table, house, conversation, state if you feel uncomfortable enough
You are allowed to leave any situation that is uncomfortable to you. This seems extreme and most people probably will not have to do this or would probably never consider leaving; however you have the right to leave any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable enough to do so. Most people can relate to feeling discomfort around family and the holidays. If you let your family know you don’t want to talk about politics and they continue to do so, you can leave. Sometimes people set boundaries and other people don’t listen, the only option is to remove yourself from the person.
If you grew up in a family with boundaries and limits, this type of conversation and boundary setting is going to be familiar and easier. If your family doesn’t have boundaries, this may be even more uncomfortable. Holidays are meant to be celebrated and enjoyed by everyone and you can do your part by committing to your happiness by stating your needs and wants with your family. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to you!
Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP , Mental Health Counselor of the Year by the Florida Mental Health Counseling Association, decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Amanda has been a therapist for ten years and has a private practice in Wellington, Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and substance abuse in teenagers and young adults. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here.
To schedule an appointment, call or text Amanda at 954-378-5381 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.
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